Hawke: Looking forward
by QuietSunshine
Summary: Hawke's adventures after leaving Kirkwall.
1. Chapter 1

"We'll stay here tonight," Hawke said setting her pack down in the clearing. The small circle in the forest wouldn't be easily detected. "I'll take first watch," she said to her companions as she unstrapped her staff from her back. Those were the first words she had spoken since they had fled Kirkwall. The others stared after her as she walked in to the forest.

As she walked through the trees a little way away from the camp she finally had a chance to clear her head. The question wasn't what had gone wrong, that was painfully obvious. She wanted to know why she hadn't been able to see it coming. Had she been so blinded by her love for Anders that she hadn't thought him capable of doing something like this?

"No," Hawke whispered to herself. _It wasn't Anders it was Justice. _But even as she thought it she didn't believe it. _I'll just have to give him a chance to explain it's not like we've even had time to talk. Maker's breath, am I crazy? He blew up the Chantry! There shouldn't be anything to explain._

She stalked angrily past the small camp again, briefly looking at the few friends who had come with her. What had today cost her? How many of her friends would she have to say good bye to because of Anders? Fenris had flat out refused to come with them, saying he could no longer fight for a cause he didn't support. All Hawke had been able to do was thank him for standing with her when she needed him. It had been harder to say good bye to Aveline, Hawke could see her friend toying with the idea of running with her. But in the end duty won and Aveline felt it would be wrong to leave Kirkwall, someone had to stay and keep the peace. Aveline had given Hawke a tight squeeze of a hug and made her promise to try to keep in touch. A silent handshake with Donnic and Hawke ran down the steps leading to the Harbor from the Gallows.

Not to mention there was Sebastian's threat of retribution still hanging above them. Hawke had no idea how long it would take Sebastian to gather any type of force against them but she wanted to be as far away from Starkhaven as possible. Right now she didn't even have a plan, they'd been running for past day trying to put enough distance between them and Kirkwall. They only reason she had suggested they make camp for a night was so they could come up with a plan. Hawke groaned and ran a hand through her hair, for now she would just clear her head and talk to her friends when her watch was over.

Over at the campsite tensions were running high. "No," Anders insisted, his voice barely above a whisper. "We do not need a fire, Carver." The mage sat slightly away from the others.

Carver glared at Anders from where he knelt over the small fire pit he had dug. "When I want your opinion I will ask," he said harshly. He struck his flint, ignoring Anders.

"Anders is right," Isabela said to Carver putting her hand on his to stop him. "A fire will just draw unnecessary attention."

Merrill muttered a few words to herself and waved her staff, a small green spell wisp appeared over her. "Will this help?" she asked, smiling at her friends.

Varric shook his head and chuckled. "Green light is a little more noticeable than firelight, Daisy. But thank you for trying to help." He patted her on the knee as she dismissed the glowing orb. "We won't even need a fire. Hawke's not going to want to stay here for more than a few hours."

"Oh yes," Carver rolled his eyes. "We always do what my sister wants, how could I forget?" He had kicked the dirt back over the fire pit. Sitting down directly across from Anders and began to sharpen his sword. "I don't know what she plans on doing but I'm only here until she can get a safe distance from Kirkwall. I have to get back to the Wardens." He lifted his whetstone from his blade, and stared at Anders. "I'm not going to abandon my duties to them."

"You can't say anything to make me hate myself more than I already do." Anders couldn't look at Carver as he spoke or he would lose his grip on Justice. "But I would strongly suggest you keeping your thoughts to yourself."

The others looked between Anders and Carver, everything around them was silent. "Five silvers say he snaps," Isabela whispered to Varric tossing a coin purse on the ground.

"Blondie or Little Hawke?" Varric turned a laugh into a cough. "Ten says the next words from Carver's mouth get his head ripped off." Merrill stood with her staff ready just in case she had to stop one of them.

"My sister may have spared your life but there are very few others who would. Even Aveline would have you in chains." Carver stood his hand tightening around the grip of his sword. "If it weren't for her you would not be here now."

Anders looked ready to explode; his knuckles were white from how hard he clenched his staff. "I am aware of that," his voice sounded dead. "She should have killed me." His eyes had just started to glow blue and Carver dropped into a battle stance when they were knocked to the ground.

"Down boys," Hawke walked between them. She quickly cast a paralysis glyph on Anders just to be sure Justice couldn't take control. "From now on you two are not to speak to each other. We are not children and I am not going to tolerate bickering."

Carver glared at his sister and pushed himself off the ground. "I'll take the watch," he sheathed his sword and stomped into the forest.

Her spell wore off Anders but he still was fighting for control. "Using magic is not the best way to get my attention," he said through gritted teeth.

"I wasn't trying to get your attention," Hawke said trying to keep the edge out of her voice. "I was trying to prevent you and Carver from killing each other." She strapped her staff to her back, and turned her attention toward Varric and Isabela. "And the two of you are betting on it?" She wasn't sure whether to be angry or amused. Sighing, Hawke shook her head. "We should try to get some rest."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: I realized I left Hawke's Mabari out. I've named him Apollyon, Latin for The Destroyer.**

* * *

><p><em>Rest<em>. Anders had to suppress a laugh at the idea. _You don't need rest when you're an abomination_, he frowned bitterly. He ducked a low branch as he walked the little circle around the camp, it would be light in another hour or so. At least the night had been uneventful, after his argument with Carver.

_**The boy needs to watch his mouth.**_

_I wondered when you would show up again, _even his thoughts toward Justice were angry. Anders slumped against the nearest tree; he didn't want to have this argument now. _That doesn't give you the right to take over and try to attack him._

_**I don't take over!**_ Justice's laugh echoed through Anders' head. _**I am your unchained anger. I am what allows you to do what is right.**_ Anders groaned and covered his ears as if to try and block out the sound. He knew it wouldn't do any good but it was the only reflex he had. _**It's time to leave them. Some of them are becoming a liability.**_

"I will NOT abandon her!" Anders said aloud, unable to contain his anger at what Justice implied. He quickly whipped around to face the camp, peering into the darkness he checked to make sure no one had heard him. _She is as much of a target as we are. We can run from the Chantry's Seekers and Templars together, we've both been running since we were children. Things have been building for a long time; we know how to fight them. But the others will make us too obvious. A dwarf, an elf, a pirate, a Warden and two Apostates we're a bit of an odd group. I have to talk to her alone!_

In the moonlight he could just make out Hawke's form lying about fifty feet from him. She was on her side, her face towards Anders. _Thank the Maker! She's still asleep._ Even in sleep she kept her staff clenched in her right hand. Anders had to force himself to continue walking; Hawke would be mad if the camp were attacked because he was watching her sleep. Picking up his pace he continued to walk around the camp.

Anders' head snapped to the left hearing a soft crack a short distance away. Lighting crackled over his staff as he took cover behind a tree. It didn't sound like an enemy, no whizz of arrows nor did scrape of swords taint the air. Thinking to get the jump on whatever was out there Anders hurled a fireball slightly to the side of where he had heard the noise.

After the fireball had exploded in the forest, Anders heard a low menacing growl. It wasn't the savage noise of a darkspawn. And it was too controlled to be a wolf. Shaking his head, Anders laughed at himself when he realized what was lurking in the trees. "Apollyon," he called softly into the trees. "Here, boy. Come on!"

Hawke's beloved Mabari trotted toward the mage, wagging his tale. The dog dropped a leather pouch at Anders feet. "She'll be glad to see you," he said to the hound as he bent to pick the pouch up. "What did you bring?" Looking closely at the bag Anders saw Hawke's crest branded into the rough leather. A small part of him pricked with curiosity at what was in the bag, but he knew better than to violate Hawke's privacy in such a way. He set the bag back in front of the dog. "You take it to her," Anders said. "Just wait until she wakes up." Apollyon scooped the pouch up into his mouth again and walked away toward where Hawke slept.

_**The animal may have led Templars this way. They may have followed it.**_

Anders rolled his eyes. _Apollyon is a pure bred Mabari. He would be able to lose are large group Templars and could certainly take down one or two._ The truth was Anders was happy and relieved to see the hound. When they had fled Kirkwall Hawke had realized too late her dog had been separated from them. But there was no way they could go back and Hawke had to silently press on. _Perhaps he can offer her some comfort._

_**If her guard dog is back then she doesn't need us anymore then**_, Justice tried to reason with Anders. _**She'll be safe enough now. Perhaps she could attempt to join the Wardens with her brother. Then no one will be able to touch her. If she would survive the Joining.**_

_Andraste's ass! I hope she never has to endure that torture. You're just being vindictive._ Just the thought of Hawke undertaking the Joining ritual made Anders almost physically ill. An image of Hawke's lips touching the rim of the Joining chalice rushed into his head. The scene continued to play out in Anders' head, much to his dismay. The dark faintly glowing liquid sloshed in the chalice as Hawke took a sip. Her eyes went white as she swallowed; she fell to her knees gagging violently. The chalice rolled from her cold fingers as she collapsed on the stone floor.

"NO!" Anders cried out as the vision cleared from his mind. He was back in the forest, kneeling in the cold dirt, his hands clutched in his hair. "You don't have to show me things like that," he gasped trying to catch his breath. It had seemed so real, what had Justice shown him? Anders' ragged breathing slowly returned to normal as he got to his feet. "That wasn't," he paused unsure if he wanted to ask. "That vision wasn't real, was it?"

_**No, it was not. It was your imagination. I don't give you visions or glimpses of the future. You should know that by now. **_Justice spoke calmly, realizing how shaken Anders was. _**Your concern for Hawke makes you see danger where there is none. You fear losing her, she's more important than our cause.**_

_She is our cause! _Anders had finally been able to control himself enough to stop speaking aloud. _She shows that Mages can be free and lead normal lives. _Not that he would call Hawke's life normal but she had been thrown into circumstances beyond her control. _If given the chance Hawke would make a great argument for Mage freedom._

_**The time for arguments is over. It is time for action. You agreed with me there is no going back now.**_

_I know, _Anders sighed. _But I won't leave her. I'm going to talk to her, see if she still willing to run with me._ He was surprised their other companions were still running with them. He hadn't been surprised when Fenris had remained behind, Aveline on the other hand he thought would have stayed with Hawke. _She must really love me if she's willing to give up everything for me._

_**Love? What's love…**_

_No. _Anders cut Justice off, _I'm done talking about my feelings for Hawke with you. You've made your opinion quite clear over the past few years. Besides we don't have time for this, it's getting light out and I should wake the others. _He turned back toward the camp.

Merrill was rustling around in her pack, trying to stay quiet as not to disturb anyone else, she smiled as Anders passed her. Varric still asleep had Bianca at arm's length. Having just woken up, Isabella was strapping a dagger to her thigh. Carver was sprawled out and snoring loudly. Apollyon lift his head from his paws when Anders knelt next to where Hawke slept. "Wake up, love," Anders said softly and placed his hand on her shoulder.

A smiled formed on Hawke's lips; she reached up and laced her fingers through Anders'. "Why don't you come down here with me?" Hawke murmured, her eyes still closed.

Anders laughed quietly, it was clear Hawke was not completely aware of her surroundings. "We're not in your bedchamber," he kept his voice low so the others wouldn't hear.

"Good morning." Hawke's eyes fluttered open focusing not on Anders face but on the grey patch of sky above them. The events of the past forty-eight hours came rushing back to her in extreme clarity. "We need to get moving." She gently touched Anders face as she stood.

Anders looked sadly at the ground as Hawke walked away from him. The scent of Andraste's Grace lingered in the air. He put his fingers to where her hand has just touched his cheek. _It can wait until later. I'll give her a chance to talk to everyone else first._


End file.
